Five Guys Burgers and Fries Review

First post in a while but I haven't totally forgotten about you!  I consider myself a hamburger connoisseur - I think a good hamburger is a thing of beauty.  So simple, yet so much potential for soul satisfying goodness.  The first time I heard about Five Guys is when Obama stopped by one on his campaign for presidency.  And this was when his coolness and buzz rating was off the charts, so hey, Five Guys must be awesome if the future president (you all knew he was going to be the president) is getting his munchies there.  Too bad it was a predominantly East coast chain.  But fancy burgers have been a little trend lately.  For example, Denny's introduced a more gourmet burger with 'hand-made' patties just about a year ago.  Actually an improvement I say.  So it was only a matter of time before Five Guys made it over on the West side I guess. 

I walk in, there's a load of signs plasted along the windows facing the street with quotes from various media sources about how great the burgers are.  'Zagat rated'  'Best $5 burger'  Yadda yadda.  And there's a bunch of newspaper and magazine clippings posted everywhere.  Yes, I get it, there's a lot of hype about this place.  The menu is simple enough though you do have to choose your own toppings.  The lady at the register was helpful enough.  I basically chose the 'Everything' burger which I figured was the standard.  It doesn't actually include every topping under the sun despite the name- I think it was: mayo, lettuce, pickles, tomatoes, ketchup, mustard, grilled mushrooms, and grilled onions.  I was asking about the cajun fries but the cashier lady let me have the regular fries with the cajun seasoning on the side since I was a newbie.  Thanks lady. 

I didn't bring my camera and I'm not quite sure how to get pictures off my new crappy cell phone so no pictures, but next time.  I hate to pass judgement on just one tasting anyway.  But here's my first experience. 

A burger from Five Guys is pretty awful.

It's an impressive looking burger.  A couple of thick beef patties (1/3 pound each?), a load of toppings.  Taste wise it's the flavor is not there, it's totally underwhelming.  I tried a couple more bites, still the same result.  I tried a few lonely grilled mushroom that fell out while taking the first bite and that thing was rubbery and tasteless.  I'm a freak for mushrooms, it's one of my favorite things in the world.  So much umami fun-ness in those suckers but these sad things were just filler.   I start to pick apart the burger to see what did have flavor.  The meat patty by itself pretty bleh.  I think they use lean meat because it wasn't juicy at all and they cook their meat well done (according to the menu or something I read).  At least the tomatoes and pickles were good. I actually did see one lady sitting next to me shaking a packet of salt straight onto her burger.  It's not a good sign when people have to season their own food to taste it.

The fries are great though, they're those boardwalk type fries that are nice a thick yet crunchy.  The cajun seasoning is fine, it's like Red Robin's seasoning salt or whatever, it's definitely good to get on the side.